Funny essays (2007)

Third year student:
If I never had to sleep, I would more study than now. It can’t be helped because I am a candidate. I’m not good at world history and I have to study more so it is good for me. If I were not a candidate, I want to rental many DVD and watch it lengthly. And I want to talk with friends after school. I need a lot of time to talk with friends. We must not talking in our class room because we are candidates. So I have no time to talk.
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Third year student:
I don’t like studying and insects. One reason studying make me bored and I am always sleepy in class. In addition, when I have a world history class, I especially sleep well. Second, I think why there are many insects. I don’t like their shape, movement and etc. I’m sorry that they are killed by me, but I can’t live. So, IO hope the world without studying and insects.
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Third Year Student:
I like to go to school, but I have something I like and something I don’t like in my school life. What I like the most is my friends, especially 3-1 friends and the members of the “blue” cheering party, who I made friends with during sports festival. What I don’t like is teachers who scold students for breaking school rules. I think they are good teachers because they guide us even though they are hated by us. Much of school rules seem to be unreasonable to me. Why do I need to be checked by teachers if my fingernails grow too much? Why do I need to be bawled at just because my sweater is showing under my jacket? I think teachers care too much about students’ appearance.
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First Year Student (Oral Communication):
I interviewed Peaquah Sensei. She wanted to become a doctor in high school. But she is an English teacher now. I wanted to become a gymnast when I was about four. I also wanted to become the owner of a candy shop and flower shop then. But now, I don’t have a clear dream. I want to be someone who helps other people. So I’d like to work in the area of social welfare. I want to become someone who other people like. So I am nice to ther people and I work hard. So now, I want to study hard.
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First Year Student (Oral Communication):
Dear my sister,
I’m Erin. I’m sorry to tell you that I lost your contact lenses. And I forgot your birthday. I haven’t bought your birthday present. Will you wait till next month? I’m busy now! If you wait, I will be able to buy a special present. I may prepare a present that you will like. And I will find your contact lenses. Sorry, I’m sorry I’m late. I will send your contact lenses with your birthday present. I want to receive a letter from you.
Sincerely,
Erin
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First Year Student (Oral Communication):
It is important for me to plant a tree. I think that volunteer work to plant a tree and I think that to plant flowers too. When I was elementary school, I have look at doing volunteer work. The volunteer work was about sixty years and an aunt. The aunt planted flowers in the park. The aunt made me impression. The flower and trees made me happy. I want to plant the flower and trees someday.
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First Year Student (Oral Communication):
I have done volunteer work which pucking up garbage. There were a lot of garbage in the place where I pucked up garbage. I thought that pucking up garbage is harsh and we should not pollute environment. I have done a few volunteer work. But I would like to experience another volunteer work later. And I want to learn different things.
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Third Year Student:
I agree that adults’ trend toward taking degrees and qualification. I think it is hard for them to learn new knowledge. And they will take a lot of time to do it. But if they have plenty of push, they could achieved it. There is some people who give up to study in half. I want to say to them, “Don’t study if you give up half-way.” I wouldn’t like to be an unfinished person.
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Third Year Student Essays on the topic: If I were the major…

If I were a mayor of big city and if I had a lot of funds, the first things that I will do to protect the citie’s nature is to make the protective system that preserve the nature. If a person forcibly harm the nature the system will activate and the person will be stunned. After that, the person will be arrested and by ecology law, he or she will be put into jail for twenty years. Sooner or later, I think no one will harm nature.

If I were the mayor of the largest city and we have enough funds, I will plant trees to protect city’s nature. However, there is no room to plant trees in the largest city. So first we have to prepare the ground for planting by removing weeds. And I want to plant the famous four season plants. Another measure to protect the city’s nature is that canalize our energies into community service. So we can communicate with neighborhood and clearn our city. What we call “kill two birds with one stone”. We must protect the nature because of environmental pollution.

If I were a mayor, I will planting more trees of flowers by using funds. In Japan, more and more plants are decreasing at personal space.  I don’t like it. Therefore I want to stop using funds for no good road repairing or building and buy many plants. If many plants increasing anywhere, Japan become beautiful country, and we can be healed by watching beautiful nature.

If I was mayor in my city, I would clean the river. I am in Yanagawa, which is famous for “Kawakudari”. It is that go down the river in a boat. A people who row with singing a local traditional song and explaining our city like a guide. The clear river and beautiful flowers and trees by the river is necessary point for it. So, I will clean the river beautiful enough to live a lot of fishes at first. And then, I will plant many flowers by the river and care of it. Finally, I want to amuse many sightseer by “Kawakudari”.

If I am a mayor of big city, I will be pick up garbage. Then I will put many dust box. It is to avoid through away the garbeges. Another way to protect the nature, I want to plant many trees. The citizen can rest in many trees. It is good for their health and it is cool not to use air conditioner. It is good for nature.
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Third Year Student:
If I have two free time more in a day, I would like to watch movies because I usually too busy to watch them. Actually just I am not good at spending time. If I watch some movies, I hope it makes me relax or it makes cheer me up. I think that watching some movies such as an action movie, an animated movie, a documentary film, an romantic movies and so on, and I feel various feelings like happy, funny, sad, miss or upset by laughing, crying or considering. At that time I can forget everything what was today and I can think something another which isn’t concerned with myself. It can get rid of my stress. In short, watching movies makes me heal and can consider something. It is very important and good things.
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Third Year Student:
I like Richard I. He was born in 1157 and lived until he was 42 years ago.
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First year student (Oral Communication):
I think American school better than Japanese school. First I think it is better not to wear uniforms. My first reason American students can choos their clothes. It is free and easy. My second reason is that they can adjust their temperation [I believe she means temperature]. Second I think it is better to play a lot of club activities. my first reason is that it is good to try a lot of club activities. And American students can learn a lot of things. My second reason is that they can make friends in club activities. Finaly I think it is better not to clean. My first reason is that American students can go home soon because they don’t have to clean their school. My second reason is that American school is beautiful because specialists clean to school. I think American school better than Japanese school.
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First year student (Oral Communication):
My name is Atsuki Sato. I’m from earth.
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First year student (Oral Communication):
Mai is…

Memory
Apples
I love you
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First year student (Oral Communication):
Hitomi is…

Happy
Indian
T
Oh!
Minisize
Indian
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Second year student (debate class):
I cried about an hour after watching this movie and my double eyelids turned single for the first time in my life.
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Third year student:
The place that has made impression on me is Iki island. I can see beautiful sea and nature. I picked shelves up in the beach. In the hot days, I enjoyed swimming in the sea and I was boiled by the sun. My little sister and I enjoyed cathing baterfly and dragonfly.
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First year student (Oral Communication):
Hello!!! no time no see!!!
Shall we want to lunch? Please call me phone.
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Third year student essays on the topic: If I were a zookeeper…

If I were a zookeeper, I would like to take care of cheetah. As we know, he is vicious animal. However, it is merely one side of the characters. He can run fast. Runing in a grassland of vast is so cool. He is the fastest runner of all animals. It costs feed a lot of money. So, I don’t have enough money. It is impossible to keep it. But I would like to take care of cheetah.

If I were a zookeeper, I would like to take care of elephants. One reason is that they are so cute. They eats vegetables or fruits by using their noses cleverly. I want to give apple to their long noses. My second reason is that they are so big. I watched that the elephant picked someone up his back. I want to ride their backs and go for a stroll in the zoo.

If I were a zookeeper, I would like to take care of chimpanzee. One reason is that they are so cute. I saw a woman living with a baby of chimpanzee. I fell in love with the baby. My second reason is that chimpanzee is really smart. I heard chimpanzee is most similar to mankind. So I think we could be really good friends. I want teach them some performance and amuse visitors of the zoo. Third reason is that their lifespans is almost the same with us. So I think we can be together long time. A friend’s die is really sad and hard experience. I don’t want to see they dying. So, I’d like to take care of chimpanzee.

If I were a zookeeper, I would like to take care of pandas. I love pandas very much because they have so cute looks and characters. They are just like stuffed toys and their looks heal me. I’m dying for to hold a panda. And I also want to replace pandas to nature as much as possible.

If I were a zookeeper, I would like to take care of lions. One reason is that I like tiger. My second reason is that it is very cool. Lions are predatory animals. I worry about being feed me. However I believe that I can tame it. If I can have a lion, how happy I am! Lion cost feed a lot of money. I don’t have extra money. And I won’t have it from now on. Therefore I cannot have a lion (picture of a crying face). But, I would like to take care of lion.

If I were a zookeeper, I would like to take care of iguana. Of all others, I’d like to take care of green iguana. He is one and half meters to two meters long. And his tail is three fifths of the his body. He looks so good! I have wanted to keep green iguana since I watched him for the first time on TV. Then I was a pupil. Now I don’t have enough time to take care of. So I intend to keep him after I graduate from high school. But if I were a zookeeper, I would spend a day surrounded by many iguanas. How happy I am! Therefore, I’d like to take care of iguana.

One week late, I received the following:

If I were a zookeeper, I would like to take care of the sloth. One reason is that they are easy to take care. They don’t eat so much so that I don’t have to bring food many times. And they have less droppings. If I were taking care of an eleplant, I would be in big trouble. And they are less likely to be injured for they hardly move. My second reason is that they are not so famous as other popular animals like panda, lion and elephant. Not many people would come to see the sloth. That means less trash is left. That makes me easy to clean. Therefore, I would like to take care of the sloth.